Confessions of a Consumer Addict

admin April 13th, 2010

I’m coming closer to believing that the notion of Christian Anarchy (for a quickie refresher on what Christian Anarchy is, see my previous posts here and here) is a very good way to think about living the Christian life in general and Christian simple living in particular.

But there are problems too

It comes across as a very negative way of seeing the faith. Even the name, Christian Anarchy, is negative if not frightening. Many of the works discussing it spend much of their time on what’s wrong with human organizations (“the powers” in the Bible), or ‘arkies’ (Vernard Eller’s shorthand for any of the world’s ‘archical’ or hierarchical organizations). Tolstoy and Ellul were not a cheery bunch of writers either! And my own foggy musings are pretty negative as well.

It’s never a good idea to describe something by what it is not, or to sell a concept as a glass half empty!

It’s also a very complicated idea to understand as well as describe, which makes it difficult to translate into something practical and useful.

Part of the problem is that the classic works on Christian Anarchy (which I’ll refer to as CA from here on) like those of Leo Tolstoy, Jacques Ellul, SØren Kierkegaard, Vernard Eller, etc., are focused on the theology, philosophy, or sociology of CA rather than its practical application. And although Eller clearly says that CA is not ‘anti’ anything, but rather is just being not interested or impressed by the powers, some of these thinkers are very much anti- government, anti-capitalist, or anti-hierarchies in general, giving their views a radical twist.

Contemporary CA practitioners often organize social justice programs such as Dorothy Day and the Catholic Worker Movement (a very good thing) (http://www.catholicworker.org/) or promote radical political positions such as Graham Cameron’s (http://christiananarchy.com/articles/).

These are big thinkers and big doers intent on changing the world, or a significant part of it. But there are probably a lot of people who, like me,  don’t want to virtually take  sword in hand and march out to right the world’s wrongs, but merely want to live a good, and even occasionally courageous personal life where they are with the people around them. And most of us probably aren’t intent on tearing things down to do it.

And I just don’t agree that Christian Anarchy is primarily about being a social activist or political revolutionary. I believe that CA principles can apply to all Christians who are really trying to follow Christ, like Christian simple livers, and that we should be able to use the positive norms and values inherent in CA to help build-up ourselves, our congregations and our communities.

I also think that when you use the tenets of CA to create a social or political organization, you have already violated the spirit, if not the definition of CA by creating yet another arky. And since these organizations are created by mere mortals to carry out their own parochial visions, by definition they become just another worldly arky with all their natural human flaws.

… and so we’re right back to where we started – and we probably aren’t in the Kingdom of God yet!

So in an effort to see a practical and hopeful side to CA, I’ve started to think through the issue of practicality – and I emphasize the word started. I’ll keep you posted on my thoughts as they occur to me.

Here goes:

Life Among the Arkies

Christian Anarchy, as well as traditional Christian belief hold that we should live only according to God’s ‘Arky’ and not according to the world’s arkies or in Biblical terms “the powers” – rich and powerful people, organizations, and governments.

As I have defined CA in previous posts (derived from the writers mentioned above, particularly Eller), CA sounds a lot like The Kingdom of God as Jesus might have described it, in the sense that all of The Kingdom’s members would be joyfully living according to God’s law and Jesus’ teachings rather than the world’s values. That may actually be the simple definition of CA and its goal as well!

That would put Christian Anarchy adherents and its practitioners in pretty good company but, like The Kingdom of God as described in the New Testament, CA theory doesn’t give us a lot of help in figuring out how to actually live it as a practical matter. Jesus merely noted that various people were “coming close to the Kingdom.”

No membership manual! He basically said “just do it!” Of course He said a lot more than that, but mostly he taught by example and we have precious few of those examples in the Bible. It leaves me hungering for much more. I learn best through examples and I just get confused when I read things, and especially when I try to write.

So OK, how are we to behave in the arky known as the Kingdom of God? And how does that mean we should relate to, if we are to relate to them at all, the world’s arkies – our government, political parties, fraternal and civic organizations, the corner store and global corporations?

If these arkies surround us and we have to interact with them every day, and they are not to be trusted or followed per Eller’s view of CA, then what is left for us to do and how would our behavior be different from those who do follow the world’s arkies – often blindly or unknowingly – which would include a majority of folks in modern consumer culture?

As I first thought about it I really got bogged down in a long list of do’s and don’ts for living a CA life. In the end it seemed like hair-splitting legalism – and long.

So I took cues from the Gospels and my own meditation practice and things started getting simpler.

The World’s Arky Assumptions and Values

In our culture with its worldly arkies, we tend to pay attention, and often buy into, its arky assumptions, values, desires, and activities – often unconsciously and uncritically. Some of the biggest, broadest assumptions and values could be: “Growth is good (or bad);” “Look out for number one;” “You should always be or look young;” “Success is the most important thing;” “Make as much money as you can;” “The end justifies the means;” “Shoot for the stars;” “Everyone should take care of themselves,” “survival of the fittest,” “Cheapest is best.”

More specific assumptions might include: “Health care reform is good (or bad);” SUVs are good (or bad);” “People should always think you’re on top of things – buy the newest cell phone/PDA/computer/game/car/house;” “Conservatism or liberalism is good while the other is bad;” “The profitability of the company is more important than its employees.”

We believe these notions to be true only because we’ve heard them much of our lives. But where do they come from? We didn’t invent them.

These basic assumptions about life came to us via the thousands of arkies we know and love (or hate), whether they are political parties, corporations, the corner store, the Government, Rotary Club, Boy/Girl Scouts, or schools.

In the end most of these assumptions have a focus on ‘self’, what’s good for me or us, whether it is to be right, rich, powerful, beautiful, successful, or just happy. The arkies advertised these values to us pervasively, although often surreptitiously, and over the years we began to believe them. All arkies do this because the values they espouse support their goals and ultimate success, whether it is to achieve its mission, make money, have influence, “right wrongs,” (as defined by the arky), or “make the world safe for…”

So to a certain extent all worldly arkies are disingenuous because they aren’t primarily concerned about your, my, or anyone else’s welfare. Even when their goal is to be compassionate, like The Church (an arky if there ever was one), a social service or disaster relief organization, the arky itself takes on some of the less-than-compassionate characteristics of their founder’s and leader’s personalities.

An arky’s true goal, despite its hype, morphs toward promoting and maintaining the organization itself and the positions of those who own, manage, or work in it. Even in compassionate organizations, the goal is organizational success, and individual needs begin to take a back seat to the hierarchy (all organizations have them) and its arky goals. In arkies that don’t start with compassionate goals, things can be a lot worse if not blatantly immoral or illegal.

Living Under The Arky of God

So, after all this arky bashing, what’s so great about the Arky of God, and how would we live in it in contradistinction to how we live amongst the world’s arkies?

Simply put, we must live by the norms, values, and assumptions of God’s Arky (Kingdom) as found in such places as the Sermon on the Mount, the Ten Commandments, and the laws of the Pentateuch, and never equivocate or make accommodations with the arkies on these matters. We don’t put them aside if our employer arky, government arky, or our political arky sees it otherwise. We don’t ever allow arkies to be our proxies or stand-ins for God’s values.

This means that we live with equanimity and compassion about all things and all people whether we agree with them or even like them or not, seeing things as they actually are, not as we are told they are, and not judging but acting with compassion towards all people. Living this way can be easily inferred from Jesus’ teachings and it would be living only under the Arky of God, and not being led or controlled by other arkies of any stripe.

Living with equanimity means we don’t follow any arky’s predetermined philosophy, principles, rules, or hierarchical structures and organizations, none of which function purely with compassion. But it also means that we don’t hate, abuse, take advantage of, or misuse the arky and its people because we see things differently. We must be compassionate with them too. We just don’t buy-in.

Living with equanimity and compassion under God’s Arky would mean never consciously or unconsciously buying the “whole package” of any worldly arky’s mission, principles, rules, or advice. Instead we would try to see clearly, in an unbiased way, what the arky along with its hierarchy and rules actually does and how that affects people and the rest of the world. We ask whether or not any part of the arky or its actions are consistent with CA. When it is we can go along with it on an instance-by-instance basis. When it is not, we don’t “go along to get along,” and we may need to end our association with that arky regardless of personal consequences.

This, of course is not at all easy. It takes a lot of practice, honesty with ourselves and others, and support from our like-minded Christian community.

More important, it takes a reordering of our minds so we can see clearly with astute awareness and discernment – again a very tall order for most of us because we’ve spent our entire lives living according to what the arkies tell us while abusing our own psyches in the process.

I have found insight meditation practice in combination with deep prayer to be extremely helpful in gaining some amount of clarity in discerning my reactions and responses to the arkies and my personal relationships as well. Without this practice I’m not sure I’d be able to attempt it at all.

To close out this ramble, I’d like to add that I believe Christian Anarchy directly supports Christian simple living. Most of our self-centered consumer behavior is actually based on the messages and values the various arkies have fed us, and getting past those arky assumptions makes it much easier to live authentic, simple lives that are closer to Jesus’ teachings, and doing so without rancor or bitterness toward the world of the arkies.

God’s peace.

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• Christian Anarchy , Consumer Culture and Economics , Coping With Consumer Culture , Faith and Politics , Meditation and Prayer
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admin April 4th, 2010

Resurrection Sunday, 2010

Wonderful revelation this Easter morning in, of all places, The Washington Post business section!

Michelle Singletary, in The Color of Money column, reviewed a new book by Gail Blanke entitled Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life, (Springboard Press, $13.99) which of course I haven’t read yet, but will shortly.

The point of the book is that much of the stuff we have (junk and clutter, savings in the bank and mental junk as well), not only doesn’t make us more secure, as we have been taught, but rather when we lose these things as we inevitably will at some point, it causes us to feel very insecure, sometimes to the point of crumbling if what we lose is important enough.

All the while we are collecting and maintaining this stuff we are not free. We are prisoners to it because of the debt it creates in order to buy and maintain it, the pressure to make money to support it, striving to make more money to get out of our increasing debt or, worse, buying even more security blankies (my term) to bolster our sagging egos.  Then of course there is the need for either more space to keep it in, or suffer a loss of living space as we give it over to storage, not to mention having to live with our irritation, stress, and possible depression around having to live in the midst of it all. It gets in our way and slows us down.

On the flip side, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, when, as Gail tells us, we get rid of all those useless security blankies we miraculously find that we not only feel just as secure without them, we actually feel more secure because we are free of it and the burdens it creates for us. Getting rid of it frees us to begin finding out who we are or who we want to be, since we may not know who we or God wants us to be because we’ve been hiding behind our stuff, lo these many years.

Gail says we should throw away 50 things because throwing away our blankies is a cumulative experience in which success at throwing things away breeds still more success and leads to more and even joyful throwing away – our power over our stuff grows while our self-esteem and freedom grows along with it. We also begin to realize the real value of things, not the value we fantasize it will give us before buying it.

I won’t go into the details Michelle Singletary lays out in her review about how this all works because I want to get to the part about my Easter simple living revelation.

Simple Living Easter Resurrection

Easter is about resurrection and new life for all of us, and Lent is about sacrifice or “giving up.” Christian simple livers understand that living simply with less stuff opens a door to new life that is not contingent on physical stuff, and that new life becomes fuller as we deepen our commitment to living a life as much for others as ourselves.

Giving things up for Lent should not be an exercise in self-flagellation just for the sake of experiencing pain or loss. Instead it is intended to be a time of growth in which we re-discover ourselves by getting rid of the things in our lives that separate us from God and from others. For most of us that would mean our stuff and our irrational emotional attachment to it.

So, here’s my revelation, and I wish I had had it a couple months ago: The throwing out of 50 things would be an excellent Lenten discipline which would not only teach us something important about who we are, our relationship to God and to others, but would do something concrete and necessary for our neighbors everywhere by decreasing the size of our ecological footprints, and would allow us to give our stuff to those who need it much more than we do.

Then, Easter morning, we can wildly celebrate Jesus’ resurrection right along with our own. We will have completed our own Lenten hard work and will emerge from the tomb right along with Jesus.

There could hardly be a better Easter than that!

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• Consumer Culture and Economics , Environment , How To's , Living More Simply , Psychology , Spiritual Development
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admin March 3rd, 2010

I just have to clear the air about something before I go on to write any more posts.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Paul’s letter to the Romans. Our adult Sunday school class is doing a study of Romans at the moment, but what has been running through my mind has less to do with the class and more to do with my bumbling, stumbling, sometimes less than simple or faithful life.

I am particularly struck with Paul’s self-revelation that:

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” (Romans 7:18-20, NIV).

Oh, that’s me through and through! Often as I sit writing these posts I begin to feel hypocritical because they don’t often describe what goes on in my soul or my addled brain. And what goes on in there isn’t always so pure, giving, or simple as some of my posts might imply.

I have written a lot about the foundation of Christian simple living being love and compassion for God’s people and his creation. But I have not written enough about my own struggle trying to be loving and compassionate while at the same time, being far from the genuinely caring person I would like to be and should be.

I have always had a real problem with a low-grade selfishness and defensive anger. I’m pretty good at keeping them under wraps with other people (not to mention while writing blog posts), but they are always lurking around inside my head, twisting my feelings and perceptions. I tend to get frustrated and angry easily when things aren’t going my way, and all of these un-loving traits really put a damper on actually being the kind of person Jesus asks us to be. It is said that loving kindness is supposed to be our natural response to the love God shows for us. But for me it isn’t natural and too often isn’t there at all.

I feel like Paul even to his point of writing “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Often my anger at myself and others occurs in an instant – so fast that it takes me by surprise, as if someone else were controlling me. Now, having some professional background in the mental health field, I know that isn’t the case, but it sure feels that way and I know exactly what Paul was writing about.

It can be very depressing because I work hard at trying to change these irrational feelings. I pray and meditate on it daily, and try to become more like what Christ asks of us. But it’s a long hard struggle and sometimes (OK, often) not successful. I feel like giving up.

There is now substantial brain research showing that far more of our behavior and feelings are genetic, chemical, and neurological than mental health professionals used to believe, so some of this comes with us into the world rather than it all being intra-psychic processes. Like substance abuse, these ‘innate’ emotions can make us feel like they’re totally out of our control.

Of course, both from a psychological and faith point of view, regardless of how in-born some of these traits might be, they still belong to us, and we have a responsibility to the rest of the world (as well as ourselves) to tame them and make the best of them. I believe that was inherent in Christ’s message.

So once in a while, I remember that I have made some changes over the years. I have become a little more compassionate and a little less reactive through meditation and prayer. It’s just that I’m not anywhere near where I should be, and I’m terrified that my blog posts make me out to be, what I might call, an intuitive lover: one who loves instinctively and well, and therefore lives a very joyful and naturally simple life.

After all, only someone who is really good at all this, and is well-practiced and disciplined in compassion and living simply would be in a position to write about it for the whole world, right?

Not in my case! I write, not because I’m so good at living this way, but because I think these things are desperately important, and that we should all be working on becoming compassionate Christian simple livers. I believe it’s what Christ expects of us, so we all have to do what we can – being on the journey together.

So I find some comfort in knowing that Paul had his moments too. I guess when you get right down to it though, I’m a neophyte at walking the compassionate talk, and at least a little bit hypocritical. I guess it’s another thing I’ll have to make the best of, because here it is, and it ain’t going away!

So I’ll press on, hoping that you will understand.

Thanks for reading.

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• Psychology , Spiritual Development , Theology and Biblical Study
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admin February 20th, 2010

Lent ought to amount to more than a casual “What am I going to give up for Lent? Oh yeah, I’ll give up eating chocolate” annual exercise. These commitments sometimes have as much meaning and depth to them as New Year’s resolutions which we usually don’t keep anyway.

For people invested in Christian simple living, however, Lent is the best time of the church year to not only make the point about living simply, but to actually have a real impact on those around us who have not yet made the switch.

Why?

Historically Lent is a time of penitence, or in a more modern mindset, a spiritual spring house cleaning. It’s a self-examination in which we look at the mistakes we have made in our relationships with God and those around us (‘sins,’ in Bible-speak), and in making reparations for them.

But there are a lot of mistakes we make on a daily basis that most people would never consider to be sins, but in fact they are not only sins, but major sins. We’re just so used to doing them that we think they’re a normal part of life rather than sins.

Jesus asked us to give up the accumulation of money and possessions so that we can concentrate on the truly important things in life, but instead we have spent the last 2,000 years not giving up much of anything, leaving us in quite a mess. Our incessant and increasing demands for more dish washers, computers, iPhones, cars, clothes, and the power to make it all go, have impoverished or treated many in the Third World unjustly, used up huge amounts of non-renewable resources, and polluted the earth, not to mention having increased global warming.

I would say that every time we buy or use anything we don’t genuinely need, or when we waste water, fuel, or power, or buy anything made with ‘blood materials’ (any resource procured through unjust, inhumane, or immoral means like those practiced in obtaining ‘blood diamonds,’ oil in the Third World, or coltan mining) we are committing serious moral errors. Our daily and excessive consumer practices are sinful because they are destructive to God’s people and his world in very concrete, visible, and painful ways.

So we have a lot of mistakes to make reparations for during Lent. What a great time to show folks why we believe that living simply as Christians is so critical to our world and to our faith – and why we should all be living more simply.

Our small congregation has decided to have a congregational “carbon fast” for Lent this year. It’s an attempt, in a small way, to revive our historic Church of the Brethren tradition of simple living as a way of redressing our mistakes (our penance).

A bit of context: The Church of the Brethren is an Anabaptist denomination which historically practiced simple living much the same way the Mennonites and Amish have up through the beginning of the 20th Century. As the Century passed however, the denomination slowly gave up many of its simple practices such as not using motorized vehicles or electricity, and became increasingly acculturated so that now there is much less to distinguish them from other protestant denominations. In some ways we may have thrown the baby out with the bath water, for although there certainly were some very rigid and dysfunctional rules that were applied in less than loving ways from time to time, those earlier generations were quite faithful to Jesus’ teachings, had a very light footprint in the world, and  they were well respected by their “English” neighbors for their compassion.

But much more than attempting to retrieve a bit of history, the carbon fast is designed to make us aware of our failings, and to make what is sometimes a painful effort to redress them. In asking the entire congregation to participate in the fast, we are using the power of the passion of Christ to make everyone aware of the depth of our error – what we have done to God’s world and His people in the name of our own self-centeredness – and to offer all of us a way to begin to repent – to get our relationship with God and all his people on the right track again.

The fast requires us to first measure the amount of carbon we are using and pumping into the atmosphere and how that compares to the rest of the world (a very unfavorable comparison by a long stretch). Then we will each make a plan of action to reduce our purchases and use of those things that contribute to global warming, resource depletion, pollution, and social and economic injustice. To do this we will be using a number of online and hard copy tools that measure our footprints and suggest actions that will help reduce them. We found the Tread Lightly on Lent calendar produced by the Presbyterian Church USA to be very helpful along with the Federal EPA calculator.

We will then meet in small groups several times between now and Maundy Thursday to talk about our efforts, problems encountered, and successes over a meal.

It is our hope that this experience will make giving up or fasting for Lent a far more concrete, meaningful and helpful process compared to just giving up chocolate.

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admin November 25th, 2009

Christmas is a reminder of how Jesus taught us to live. For Christians the holiday is about peace and joy – the advent of a new way of living – a way of living without a self-serving ego that is focused on material things.

It’s really hard to see that happening during the Christmas season in modern America. Sure we hear all the words: peace, joy, good will to all men, etc., but our behavior does not seem to reflect the intent of those words. How come?

I only need to look at myself and how for years and years I mouthed those very words and thought that I had the “Christmas spirit” – while at the same time being totally stressed-out, impatient with the crowds, worrying that our party or family get-together would be perfect, being obsessed with finding the right gifts, and worrying that I wasn’t spending enough on the right people, and piling up bills – right up until Christmas eve.

After all of that it was really hard to have much Christmas spirit (unless it was a spirit I drank) much less have a life-changing or life-enhancing experience. It was exhausting, and I was not much fun to be around.

It had become all about meeting my, and everyone else’s, high expectations for a highlight-of-the-year celebration, and giving and getting a lot of stuff.

Not at all what Jesus would have wanted from me for his birthday present, and I didn’t want it from me either!

That began to change a number of years ago after I started a daily prayer and meditation practice. That was the beginning of a journey of finding increasing peace within myself and the beginning of appreciating the world around me for what it actually is at this moment. It has been such a relief!

I remember the first time that peace and appreciation really hit me: it was at the mall, of all places, well before I shifted into a simpler way of living, and it was at the height of the Christmas shopping hysteria. I should preface this by saying that I hate shopping, especially Christmas shopping, and I was not looking forward to this trip at all. But my daughter needed to see Santa Claus, so we waited in line (another of my least favorite things) to see him. I was fully expecting to have my usual bah humbug attitude fully engaged, but as I stood there I was overcome with the sheer joy of seeing the kids, the decorations, and the busy shuffle around the shops. I had totally forgotten about myself and was focused on what was actually happening around me rather than my usual self-absorbed attitude and the way it has always filtered everything in a negative way.

Then my attention shifted to a deep, genuine feeling of joy and contentment – deeper than I can ever remember having before – and it seemed like the world changed in that moment. And the feeling stuck with me for the rest of the day.

The results of months of meditation and prayer had snuck up on me. The practice of intent focus and awareness and of praying during that intensity of meditation was helping me appreciate life for what it was rather than my tortured feelings about it. I was beginning to be able to give up some of my internal negative dialog that often separates me from other people and the world around me, and I think I was also beginning to have a little insight into what folks were doing and feeling rather than my normal superficial observations and stereotypical impressions.

It is said by life-long meditators that although the meditation itself can be a wonderful thing (although not always) it is the long term results of meditation in our mental and emotional attitudes towards people and life in the regular work-a-day world that are really important. Over the long term it is to help us develop a rich, loving compassion to replace our egocentricity and cynicism. I have found that to be true.

This practice has become the keystone of my faith and life. Even though I am only just beginning this emotional journey and still have a very long way to go (few would say I have become a paragon of virtue) it has saved my life. For the first time I really do believe the Spirit is with me – at least some of the time – because I have made a space for the Spirit to enter.

I also think that especially for someone like me, as well as many others who were not born with the milk of human kindness running through their veins, this is the kind of faith practice that really makes it possible for us to live true Christian simplicity as I’ve described it on my website, www.christiansimpleliving.org.

I believe that it also makes it possible for me to go into this Advent and Christmas with real joy as well as the awareness to cut through the consumerism that Christmas has become, to find the truth of the message that the King of Peace is coming, and to fully participate in his birthday celebration in a deep and simple way.

If you would like to find more joy and peace in your life for this Christmas season, you might want to give it a try. There are a number of resources listed here.

I hope you have a truly joyous Advent and Christmas celebration.

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admin November 24th, 2009

When we begin to think about Christmas, some of our first thoughts are about joy, family, gifts, and all-around good times. But then come thoughts about the anxiety and stress it causes. The American Psychological Association published a study in 2008 that found that 80% of people in the study expected a stressful holiday season.

Such a shame for a celebration of someone who came to get rid of that kind of stress!

Of course, not surprisingly, the stress is caused primarily by the expectations of our consumer culture for excessive gift giving, partying, and our personal expectations for a ‘perfect Christmas’ as perhaps defined by Currier and Ives. Mental Health America, http://www.nmha.org/, suggests that finances are the primary cause of this anxiety followed closely by bad memories of Christmases past, too many holiday activities, overindulgence (I’m shocked), and loneliness.

It would be easy for us to rant about the commercialization of Christmas as I have many times in the past, but really, if we are serious practicing Christians, that should be of little consequence to us except to feel sorry for those caught up in the craziness.

As Christians we don’t have to do it that way because we know better. We can celebrate in a much more meaningful way that brings depth to our faith, joy to our families and friends, and a great deal less stress and debt.

Instead we can happily focus on making our own celebrations real “Jesus birthday” celebrations, getting rid of the stress and anxiety of the whole thing – and we don’t have to worry about consumers and their enablers.

But getting there takes some effort and doesn’t come instantly. My experience is that it takes a number of Christmas seasons to gradually work our way into a more reasonable, happier birthday celebration. I know of few people who managed a big change all in one year, so RELAX, take it a step at a time starting with a few small steps, and add a few more steps each year.

Another key principle is do not ADD simplicity practices to what you are already doing – that will only make things worse. Instead, get rid of one or two practices that make you crazy during the holidays and REPLACE them with one or two of the ideas below.

Some folks think we’re being Grinch’s to talk about giving up things at Christmas, but in fact changing just a few crazy-making practices can make for a much more joyful and meaningful Christmas that will be remembered for a long time – because it is more personal and loving.

And the “giving up” can be wonderful in and of itself.

Picture this: less, or no driving in heavy traffic, no careening through crowded stores or waiting in long lines when you’re short of time, no stressing-out over which thing will be the “perfect gift”, no longer traveling to too many places, and no horrendous credit card bills in January… aaaaaaah!

AND the best thing is that the result of all this “giving up” is getting to have more time with family and friends. Time to give them what they really want – you – and your love and caring. It gives you time to actually savor the meaning of Christ’s birthday and his life, and what a difference it has made in your life.

A wonderful way to begin this holiday change process, if you don’t do it already, is to start a daily meditation and prayer practice. Take the time no matter how busy you are. A serious, regular practice can help you focus on what’s really important in your life and in the lives of those you love. It can help screen out the craziness we are heir to during the holidays and let us slow down and deeply appreciate what the holiday (the word comes from ‘holy day’) has done for us. I’ll get another post out in a day or two on some ways to approach this.

Basic Jesus Birthday Principles

1. Shifting from gifting to giving

The “Whose Birthday is it Anyway?” project on the Alternatives for Simple Living web site, http://www.simpleliving.org/, makes the excellent point that if we are actually celebrating Jesus’ birthday, then we should be giving him what he asked for or what we think he would really want. Remembering “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” we should be giving the presents to those who need it most – families of people who are out of work, those who may be losing their homes, those in need of support during the war, people in institutions, and people around the world living in poverty or suffering injustice, instead of giving so much to people who don’t really need our gifts and sometimes don’t even want them.

We often buy pricey gifts for people we don’t see often or don’t know well out of duty, tradition, or guilt and end up giving them things they don’t want or need, when our good wishes, love, and our presence is what they want most. This wastes money and goods that folks in real need could use well.

Sometimes we ‘overbuy’ gifts in order to impress friends and family or assuage our guilt. This can set up a competitive game that goes on for years and even generations through which we all lose in the end. Especially with kids. I’ve often seen two and four year-olds completely overwhelmed by a pile of gifts resulting from an orgy of keeping up with, or better yet, ahead of the Jones’. Who can give a child the bigger, better gift so the giver can win the envy sweepstakes. This is destructive for the kids and for our own souls.

A thought: plan to give your kids just three gifts – the number that Jesus got – and hide them so the kids have fun finding them. Then explain the meaning of the three gifts.

Carefully review your giving list so you have a very good idea of each person really needs or deeply desires even if it turns out to be an unconventional gift.

We can give ourselves by providing services and our time instead of a sweater that a person might never wear: if you are an accountant, prepare someone’s taxes; give a summer’s worth of lawn mowing to grandparents or other elders; if you’re handy with hair and makeup, give a facial and hair-do; do some painting and wallpapering; a gift of weekly story reading to a child, etc.

With the money we save in buying fewer and less expensive gifts we have the ideal opportunity to give to those who have the greatest needs. Many families now give to charities in the name of their family members as gifts and give a card explaining the gift to the family member.

The best way to do this is to carefully research potential charities for their needs and make those donations first before you begin your conventional shopping.

2. Preventive Shopping
Nip your automatic over-shopping urge in the bud at the very beginning of the season so that you don’t over-buy, over-spend, and over-give while on “shopping auto-pilot.” We can all do this by practicing “Preventive Shopping.”

Over the Thanksgiving holiday make a preventive shopping plan with the whole family so that everyone knows and agrees to the new ground rules and why they are important. Decide how you want to change your gift-giving and celebrating this year, and be sure to include the kids so they can learn that Christmas isn’t about the getting, it’s about the giving. Your plan should include a gift giving budget that includes conventional gifts as well as donations, crafts, and your time BEFORE ever going out to the mall.

This holiday planning is also a great time to introduce your kids to the actual story of St. Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra as the origins of Santa Claus. They will gain a whole new, life-long perspective on giving rather than getting. Take a look at the St. Nicholas Center web site http://www.stnicholascenter.org which has a lot of games and activities to help kids learn about St. Nick and the real meaning of Christmas – the younger the better.

Practice “targeted shopping” instead of grazing at the mall. After making your holiday plan and preparing a gift list, determine which stores have those specific items, then go only to those stores and buy only those items: no impulse buying (“Oh, wouldn’t that be great for Terry? I never would have thought of that!”)

Avoid the globalized big box stores despite their heavy advertising for extremely low cost items.

Money isn’t the issue in our new approach to Christmas!

Instead buy from local stores, crafts people, and service personnel whenever possible. This limits your contact with dangerous shopping areas like Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, etc. which will limit unnecessary impulse buying (leaving more of your cash for donations to those who will really need and appreciate it) and helping to build-up your local community and neighbors.

Hint: in general, buying gift cards is not a good idea. A very large percentage of the money in these cards goes unused and wasted – money that could have been used in a much better way. AND bank-branded gift cards are notorious for their high fees and expiration dates which make many of them an even worse deal.

3. The Quality of our Gifts

When giving gifts we should be very conscious of the earth and social and economic justice issues world-wide:

What is your gift made of? Non-renewable resources or those through the manufacture of which much pollution was generated? Are they made from natural or renewable materials or do they help you live a greener life?

Try giving a do-it-yourself gift box of natural household and personal cleaners, perfumes, soaps, etc. to introduce someone to a new world of more responsible day-to-day living?

Is the gift a fair trade item? Does the manufacturer or retailer support unjust manufacturing, management, or other social and economic practices?

Give a different kind of gift to lift someone’s spirits or quality of life – a course or workshop on meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, or a weekend retreat.

Are the children’s gifts non-violent?

Have a joyful and stress-free Christmas.

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• Consumer Culture and Economics , Coping With Consumer Culture , Fomenting Change , How To's , Living More Simply , Psychology , Spiritual Development
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