Confessions of a Consumer Addict

admin April 4th, 2010

Resurrection Sunday, 2010

Wonderful revelation this Easter morning in, of all places, The Washington Post business section!

Michelle Singletary, in The Color of Money column, reviewed a new book by Gail Blanke entitled Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life, (Springboard Press, $13.99) which of course I haven’t read yet, but will shortly.

The point of the book is that much of the stuff we have (junk and clutter, savings in the bank and mental junk as well), not only doesn’t make us more secure, as we have been taught, but rather when we lose these things as we inevitably will at some point, it causes us to feel very insecure, sometimes to the point of crumbling if what we lose is important enough.

All the while we are collecting and maintaining this stuff we are not free. We are prisoners to it because of the debt it creates in order to buy and maintain it, the pressure to make money to support it, striving to make more money to get out of our increasing debt or, worse, buying even more security blankies (my term) to bolster our sagging egos.  Then of course there is the need for either more space to keep it in, or suffer a loss of living space as we give it over to storage, not to mention having to live with our irritation, stress, and possible depression around having to live in the midst of it all. It gets in our way and slows us down.

On the flip side, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, when, as Gail tells us, we get rid of all those useless security blankies we miraculously find that we not only feel just as secure without them, we actually feel more secure because we are free of it and the burdens it creates for us. Getting rid of it frees us to begin finding out who we are or who we want to be, since we may not know who we or God wants us to be because we’ve been hiding behind our stuff, lo these many years.

Gail says we should throw away 50 things because throwing away our blankies is a cumulative experience in which success at throwing things away breeds still more success and leads to more and even joyful throwing away – our power over our stuff grows while our self-esteem and freedom grows along with it. We also begin to realize the real value of things, not the value we fantasize it will give us before buying it.

I won’t go into the details Michelle Singletary lays out in her review about how this all works because I want to get to the part about my Easter simple living revelation.

Simple Living Easter Resurrection

Easter is about resurrection and new life for all of us, and Lent is about sacrifice or “giving up.” Christian simple livers understand that living simply with less stuff opens a door to new life that is not contingent on physical stuff, and that new life becomes fuller as we deepen our commitment to living a life as much for others as ourselves.

Giving things up for Lent should not be an exercise in self-flagellation just for the sake of experiencing pain or loss. Instead it is intended to be a time of growth in which we re-discover ourselves by getting rid of the things in our lives that separate us from God and from others. For most of us that would mean our stuff and our irrational emotional attachment to it.

So, here’s my revelation, and I wish I had had it a couple months ago: The throwing out of 50 things would be an excellent Lenten discipline which would not only teach us something important about who we are, our relationship to God and to others, but would do something concrete and necessary for our neighbors everywhere by decreasing the size of our ecological footprints, and would allow us to give our stuff to those who need it much more than we do.

Then, Easter morning, we can wildly celebrate Jesus’ resurrection right along with our own. We will have completed our own Lenten hard work and will emerge from the tomb right along with Jesus.

There could hardly be a better Easter than that!

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admin February 20th, 2010

Lent ought to amount to more than a casual “What am I going to give up for Lent? Oh yeah, I’ll give up eating chocolate” annual exercise. These commitments sometimes have as much meaning and depth to them as New Year’s resolutions which we usually don’t keep anyway.

For people invested in Christian simple living, however, Lent is the best time of the church year to not only make the point about living simply, but to actually have a real impact on those around us who have not yet made the switch.

Why?

Historically Lent is a time of penitence, or in a more modern mindset, a spiritual spring house cleaning. It’s a self-examination in which we look at the mistakes we have made in our relationships with God and those around us (‘sins,’ in Bible-speak), and in making reparations for them.

But there are a lot of mistakes we make on a daily basis that most people would never consider to be sins, but in fact they are not only sins, but major sins. We’re just so used to doing them that we think they’re a normal part of life rather than sins.

Jesus asked us to give up the accumulation of money and possessions so that we can concentrate on the truly important things in life, but instead we have spent the last 2,000 years not giving up much of anything, leaving us in quite a mess. Our incessant and increasing demands for more dish washers, computers, iPhones, cars, clothes, and the power to make it all go, have impoverished or treated many in the Third World unjustly, used up huge amounts of non-renewable resources, and polluted the earth, not to mention having increased global warming.

I would say that every time we buy or use anything we don’t genuinely need, or when we waste water, fuel, or power, or buy anything made with ‘blood materials’ (any resource procured through unjust, inhumane, or immoral means like those practiced in obtaining ‘blood diamonds,’ oil in the Third World, or coltan mining) we are committing serious moral errors. Our daily and excessive consumer practices are sinful because they are destructive to God’s people and his world in very concrete, visible, and painful ways.

So we have a lot of mistakes to make reparations for during Lent. What a great time to show folks why we believe that living simply as Christians is so critical to our world and to our faith – and why we should all be living more simply.

Our small congregation has decided to have a congregational “carbon fast” for Lent this year. It’s an attempt, in a small way, to revive our historic Church of the Brethren tradition of simple living as a way of redressing our mistakes (our penance).

A bit of context: The Church of the Brethren is an Anabaptist denomination which historically practiced simple living much the same way the Mennonites and Amish have up through the beginning of the 20th Century. As the Century passed however, the denomination slowly gave up many of its simple practices such as not using motorized vehicles or electricity, and became increasingly acculturated so that now there is much less to distinguish them from other protestant denominations. In some ways we may have thrown the baby out with the bath water, for although there certainly were some very rigid and dysfunctional rules that were applied in less than loving ways from time to time, those earlier generations were quite faithful to Jesus’ teachings, had a very light footprint in the world, and  they were well respected by their “English” neighbors for their compassion.

But much more than attempting to retrieve a bit of history, the carbon fast is designed to make us aware of our failings, and to make what is sometimes a painful effort to redress them. In asking the entire congregation to participate in the fast, we are using the power of the passion of Christ to make everyone aware of the depth of our error – what we have done to God’s world and His people in the name of our own self-centeredness – and to offer all of us a way to begin to repent – to get our relationship with God and all his people on the right track again.

The fast requires us to first measure the amount of carbon we are using and pumping into the atmosphere and how that compares to the rest of the world (a very unfavorable comparison by a long stretch). Then we will each make a plan of action to reduce our purchases and use of those things that contribute to global warming, resource depletion, pollution, and social and economic injustice. To do this we will be using a number of online and hard copy tools that measure our footprints and suggest actions that will help reduce them. We found the Tread Lightly on Lent calendar produced by the Presbyterian Church USA to be very helpful along with the Federal EPA calculator.

We will then meet in small groups several times between now and Maundy Thursday to talk about our efforts, problems encountered, and successes over a meal.

It is our hope that this experience will make giving up or fasting for Lent a far more concrete, meaningful and helpful process compared to just giving up chocolate.

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admin November 24th, 2009

When we begin to think about Christmas, some of our first thoughts are about joy, family, gifts, and all-around good times. But then come thoughts about the anxiety and stress it causes. The American Psychological Association published a study in 2008 that found that 80% of people in the study expected a stressful holiday season.

Such a shame for a celebration of someone who came to get rid of that kind of stress!

Of course, not surprisingly, the stress is caused primarily by the expectations of our consumer culture for excessive gift giving, partying, and our personal expectations for a ‘perfect Christmas’ as perhaps defined by Currier and Ives. Mental Health America, http://www.nmha.org/, suggests that finances are the primary cause of this anxiety followed closely by bad memories of Christmases past, too many holiday activities, overindulgence (I’m shocked), and loneliness.

It would be easy for us to rant about the commercialization of Christmas as I have many times in the past, but really, if we are serious practicing Christians, that should be of little consequence to us except to feel sorry for those caught up in the craziness.

As Christians we don’t have to do it that way because we know better. We can celebrate in a much more meaningful way that brings depth to our faith, joy to our families and friends, and a great deal less stress and debt.

Instead we can happily focus on making our own celebrations real “Jesus birthday” celebrations, getting rid of the stress and anxiety of the whole thing – and we don’t have to worry about consumers and their enablers.

But getting there takes some effort and doesn’t come instantly. My experience is that it takes a number of Christmas seasons to gradually work our way into a more reasonable, happier birthday celebration. I know of few people who managed a big change all in one year, so RELAX, take it a step at a time starting with a few small steps, and add a few more steps each year.

Another key principle is do not ADD simplicity practices to what you are already doing – that will only make things worse. Instead, get rid of one or two practices that make you crazy during the holidays and REPLACE them with one or two of the ideas below.

Some folks think we’re being Grinch’s to talk about giving up things at Christmas, but in fact changing just a few crazy-making practices can make for a much more joyful and meaningful Christmas that will be remembered for a long time – because it is more personal and loving.

And the “giving up” can be wonderful in and of itself.

Picture this: less, or no driving in heavy traffic, no careening through crowded stores or waiting in long lines when you’re short of time, no stressing-out over which thing will be the “perfect gift”, no longer traveling to too many places, and no horrendous credit card bills in January… aaaaaaah!

AND the best thing is that the result of all this “giving up” is getting to have more time with family and friends. Time to give them what they really want – you – and your love and caring. It gives you time to actually savor the meaning of Christ’s birthday and his life, and what a difference it has made in your life.

A wonderful way to begin this holiday change process, if you don’t do it already, is to start a daily meditation and prayer practice. Take the time no matter how busy you are. A serious, regular practice can help you focus on what’s really important in your life and in the lives of those you love. It can help screen out the craziness we are heir to during the holidays and let us slow down and deeply appreciate what the holiday (the word comes from ‘holy day’) has done for us. I’ll get another post out in a day or two on some ways to approach this.

Basic Jesus Birthday Principles

1. Shifting from gifting to giving

The “Whose Birthday is it Anyway?” project on the Alternatives for Simple Living web site, http://www.simpleliving.org/, makes the excellent point that if we are actually celebrating Jesus’ birthday, then we should be giving him what he asked for or what we think he would really want. Remembering “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.” we should be giving the presents to those who need it most – families of people who are out of work, those who may be losing their homes, those in need of support during the war, people in institutions, and people around the world living in poverty or suffering injustice, instead of giving so much to people who don’t really need our gifts and sometimes don’t even want them.

We often buy pricey gifts for people we don’t see often or don’t know well out of duty, tradition, or guilt and end up giving them things they don’t want or need, when our good wishes, love, and our presence is what they want most. This wastes money and goods that folks in real need could use well.

Sometimes we ‘overbuy’ gifts in order to impress friends and family or assuage our guilt. This can set up a competitive game that goes on for years and even generations through which we all lose in the end. Especially with kids. I’ve often seen two and four year-olds completely overwhelmed by a pile of gifts resulting from an orgy of keeping up with, or better yet, ahead of the Jones’. Who can give a child the bigger, better gift so the giver can win the envy sweepstakes. This is destructive for the kids and for our own souls.

A thought: plan to give your kids just three gifts – the number that Jesus got – and hide them so the kids have fun finding them. Then explain the meaning of the three gifts.

Carefully review your giving list so you have a very good idea of each person really needs or deeply desires even if it turns out to be an unconventional gift.

We can give ourselves by providing services and our time instead of a sweater that a person might never wear: if you are an accountant, prepare someone’s taxes; give a summer’s worth of lawn mowing to grandparents or other elders; if you’re handy with hair and makeup, give a facial and hair-do; do some painting and wallpapering; a gift of weekly story reading to a child, etc.

With the money we save in buying fewer and less expensive gifts we have the ideal opportunity to give to those who have the greatest needs. Many families now give to charities in the name of their family members as gifts and give a card explaining the gift to the family member.

The best way to do this is to carefully research potential charities for their needs and make those donations first before you begin your conventional shopping.

2. Preventive Shopping
Nip your automatic over-shopping urge in the bud at the very beginning of the season so that you don’t over-buy, over-spend, and over-give while on “shopping auto-pilot.” We can all do this by practicing “Preventive Shopping.”

Over the Thanksgiving holiday make a preventive shopping plan with the whole family so that everyone knows and agrees to the new ground rules and why they are important. Decide how you want to change your gift-giving and celebrating this year, and be sure to include the kids so they can learn that Christmas isn’t about the getting, it’s about the giving. Your plan should include a gift giving budget that includes conventional gifts as well as donations, crafts, and your time BEFORE ever going out to the mall.

This holiday planning is also a great time to introduce your kids to the actual story of St. Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra as the origins of Santa Claus. They will gain a whole new, life-long perspective on giving rather than getting. Take a look at the St. Nicholas Center web site http://www.stnicholascenter.org which has a lot of games and activities to help kids learn about St. Nick and the real meaning of Christmas – the younger the better.

Practice “targeted shopping” instead of grazing at the mall. After making your holiday plan and preparing a gift list, determine which stores have those specific items, then go only to those stores and buy only those items: no impulse buying (“Oh, wouldn’t that be great for Terry? I never would have thought of that!”)

Avoid the globalized big box stores despite their heavy advertising for extremely low cost items.

Money isn’t the issue in our new approach to Christmas!

Instead buy from local stores, crafts people, and service personnel whenever possible. This limits your contact with dangerous shopping areas like Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, etc. which will limit unnecessary impulse buying (leaving more of your cash for donations to those who will really need and appreciate it) and helping to build-up your local community and neighbors.

Hint: in general, buying gift cards is not a good idea. A very large percentage of the money in these cards goes unused and wasted – money that could have been used in a much better way. AND bank-branded gift cards are notorious for their high fees and expiration dates which make many of them an even worse deal.

3. The Quality of our Gifts

When giving gifts we should be very conscious of the earth and social and economic justice issues world-wide:

What is your gift made of? Non-renewable resources or those through the manufacture of which much pollution was generated? Are they made from natural or renewable materials or do they help you live a greener life?

Try giving a do-it-yourself gift box of natural household and personal cleaners, perfumes, soaps, etc. to introduce someone to a new world of more responsible day-to-day living?

Is the gift a fair trade item? Does the manufacturer or retailer support unjust manufacturing, management, or other social and economic practices?

Give a different kind of gift to lift someone’s spirits or quality of life – a course or workshop on meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, or a weekend retreat.

Are the children’s gifts non-violent?

Have a joyful and stress-free Christmas.

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Guest August 4th, 2009

This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of online bible colleges . Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson1@gmail.com

How to Live a Simple College Life

College is an essential part of life; it helps us come to terms with the change that takes part as we transit from being a carefree youngster to a more responsible adult. It bridges the leap and makes it more acceptable; it prepares us for the life that is to come, the one that involves career, family and more. Very often, the kind of life we lead in college sets the tone for the rest of our lives. So if we learn to adapt to a simple and frugal life during these four years, it becomes easier to be more responsible when it comes to managing finances as a working adult. It’s easy enough to lead a simple college life once you set your mind to it:

Limit your belongings: There’s no need to carry your room and everything that’s in it when you go to college. For one, you may not have the room to store everything, and for another, you’re going to sharing with someone else.Take only the bare essentials, stuff that you need to use on a regular basis. Also, don’t go on a buying spree once you see your room and think that it needs more furniture and accessories. You’re there only on a temporary basis, so limit your belongings and keep things as simple as possible. When you have just a few things to take care of, you don’t need to worry about keeping them safe.

Eat simple, healthy food: This not only minimizes your expense but also keeps you healthy. You realize the value of good health early in your life, a habit that stays with you for a lifetime. When you choose to eat simple foods instead of binging on snacks, junk food and alcohol, your needs are simple and your finances are not stretched. Stay away from cigarettes and alcohol as they can affect your physical and mental health significantly if you do get addicted.

Focus on your studies: When you’re focused on your education, you don’t have too much time for other activities that involve spending a lot of money. While it’s ok to have fun, make sure it does not affect the learning process in any way. Get involved in sports for your extracurricular needs – they’re a great way to unwind and relax your mind and body.

The key to leading a simple life in college is to close your mind to the various temptations that exist and that are constantly in your face. Once you learn to control your mind and focus on what’s important, you are bound to find the going easy.

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